or "What I Did at Work Last Night: A Photo Essay"
or "A Million and Seventeen Ways Not to Make a Sweater"
or "Vogue in Red: An Erotic Mystery-Thriller by Nikki the Shizknitter"
(oh, wait, that last was a mistake)
Vogue Sweater, how I hated you. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong with you. I knit the fair isle sleeve too big, despite the fact that I subtracted stitches (apparently not enough). I didn't wash my swatch, and the red in the fair isle bled into the white (curse you, JaggerSpun Zephyr DK!). I knit the front to an entirely different pattern because I didn't check the Vogue Knitting Errata before starting (curse you, faulty VK patterns!).
Fortunately, there is always a cure. The sleeve got cut, in my attempt at steeking. I say attempt because the outcome was not totally perfect. Though there were several tutorials on crochet steeking (I don't have a machine), none of them were for something like this, just cutting off the sides of the sleeve. But I did it anyway. And I cut off the bottom, too, as it was a little too long. Then I picked up some stitches along the bottom. Again, not perfect, but hey, that's what Fray Check is for.
The red bled a lot. A lot. A whole lot. I haven't had color bleed like this since the Sugar N Cream cotton washcloth I made. Why should this yarn have bled so much? Anyway, dye once it bleeds
onto the fabric, doesn't set immediately. I thought I had rinsed it all out. I set it down to dry. But I guess I missed some because some of the red dye crept back into the white. Damn. I used my RIT Color Remover which is to get rid of colors that have run, and it did the trick (mostly).
And the pattern errata was eventually found with the help of the wonderful folks at KnittingHelp.com You guys are the best.
But still, this sweater left me pissed. It's like it took pleasure in frustrating me. And so, I decided to murder it. "Murder" has been one of my coworkers words for a while. He's always going to murder something or somebody. So it was my turn, and VK Sweater, it was your turn to die! (insert maniacal laugh).
Now to be fair, this idea all started from this:
That's not Kool-Aid, people. And thus, it was on!
I first considered having it die from lonliness and starvation, just by dumping it in the trash.
But I thought a sweater that had come up with so many ways to torture me deserved a more inventive death. I considered shredding it to bits in the office fan. "Feel that breeze, baby? That is the wind of inevitability!" But then I realized that we still needed an office fan and didn't want to break it.
Aha! I had it! Steek this, bitch!
But in the end, I decided to just finish sewing it up and wear it. Now, VK Sweater, you are truly conquered!
Pattern: Vogue Knitting Holiday 2006 Fair Isle Sleeve Sweater
Yarn: JaggerSpun Zephyr DK silk/wool blend. 7 2 oz. balls Cinnabar, 1 ball each of Charcoal, Steel Gray, and Vanilla
Needles: Size 4
Yarn Notes: Despite knitting this to a tight gauge, this yarn has amazing drape. Also bleeds like crazy. Despite the silk content, not what I would call a luxury yarn in terms of feel. Spun such that at parts it is often flat like a tape yarn. Has mysterious tufts every now and then. Suspect will be fairly hard-wearing.
You know the pose by now.
And from the back.
The neckline is a little loose, despite the fact that I actually put in fewer stitches than called for. I may rip and redo it, but not now. I'm tired. There are a million more things to say about this sweater, so, um, maybe later.